Today, an urgently worded interoffice memo crossed the very long desk of the PeekScore blog collective (the puzzling and poorly thought through logistics of which are explained in excruciating detail here). This block-capitalized, and sparingly punctuated (apart from five smudged exclamation points at its close) communiqué was intended to announce to the PeekScore staff, in terms lacking ambiguity (or much in the way of reasonable choice), that the “powers that be” would like for the PeekScore blog to again write about basketball, and “DO ONE OF THOSE THINGS YOU DO WITH THE NUMBERS AND ALL THAT BUT WITH LIKE LEBRON AND STUFF.” This, nothing if not impassioned, dispatch from on high then added that its author, for whom we all happen to work, would also like for us to compose this proposed entry about basketball “…WELL” (partial quote with expletives excised, as – despite the fact that they comprised the memo’s bulk – they really added little apart from some color). Finally, after sharing a desired timeline for completion of this project, a provisional – although somewhat insincere seeming, to be honest – best wishes in our “VERY PROBABLE” near-future job searches was provided as a sign-off.
Through heavy sobs, and amidst panicked phone calls home to spouses, significant others, children, and even one estranged sibling, to make certain they knew how much we loved them (just in case), we hastily debated, and finally compiled – through fits and faints and at least one emergency room visit – our list of the top 10 NBA stars who remain, as of this writing, in the playoffs. The list is below.
We are aware that the “bio” blurbs below are rather dry and straightforward – as opposed to insightful and visionary, as they usually are – but we were told, under what could arguably be described as coercion, not to be “STUPID LIKE YOU ALWAYS ARE.” Not quite certain what was meant by that, we’re not taking any chances. We had, with a previous NBA related list, attempted more thoughtful captions, but the intern we assigned to write them didn’t know much about basketball and wound up compensating for the lapse by making a bunch of distasteful puns out of the players’ names (for example: “Paul Pierce should really be called Pol Pot for the way he dominates the court with an iron fist, and cleanses the floor with the opposing team”, or “José Juan Barea dribbles like he’s got a bad case of José Juan Diarrhea of the hands”… truly, truly awful stuff). It’s better this way, trust us.
Who did we miss? Who would you have included? How do you feel about the order of this list? Who’d be your number one? Do you hate basketball? Let us know in the comments.
| Picture |
Name |
Bio |
PeekScore |

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LeBron James |
9.66 out of 10. With too many accolades to pick just one, James has – not without some well publicized controversy – been with the Heat since 2010. |
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Dwayne Wade |
9.63 out of 10. Sports Illustrated‘s Sportsman of the Year in 2006, Wade has been with the Heat since 2003. |
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Kevin Durant |
9.35 out of 10. The ’07-’08 NBA Rookie of the Year, Durant has been with the Oklahoma City Thunder (formerly Seattle SuperSonics) since 2007. |
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Mike Conley Jr. |
8.13 out of 10. A first round draft pick out of Ohio State, Conley has been with the Grizzlies since 2007 |
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Dirk Nowitzki |
8.06 out of 10. A ten time NBA All-Star, Nowitzki has been with the Mavericks since 1998. |
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Derrick Rose |
7.24 out of 10. The ’08-’09 NBA Rookie of the Year, Rose has been with the Bulls since 2008. |
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Peja Stojaković |
7.04 out of 10. A three time NBA All-Star, Stojaković has only been with the Mavericks since earlier this year. |
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Zach Randolph |
7.01 out of 10. An NBA All-Star in 2010, Randolph has been with the Grizzlies since 2009. |
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DeShawn Stevenson |
6.37 out of 10.Coming to the NBA straight out of high school, back in 2000, Stevenson has been with he Mavericks since 2010. |
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José Juan Barea |
5.45 out of 10. CAA Player of the Year in 2006, Barea has been with the Mavericks since 2007. |
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